AT THE DELOCATED WRAP PARTY. MARRIED. VERY MARRIED.

SABES QUE, YOU'RE MY DAUGHTER BUT YOU'RE ALSO MY BRO. MIRA, YOUR BROTHER OVER HERE TO MY RIGHT, HE'S ALSO MY BRO.

EATING ALONE AT POTBELLY UNION SQ. HE STARED AT MY SHOES.

IN CHELSEA WITH HE AND UMA THURMAN'S DAUGHTER. HE SEEMED HYPER.

NEAR THE FLATIRON BUILDING. LUNCH TIME. HE LOOKED LOST

A PREGNANT WOMAN SAW ME PEEING WHILE WAITING FOR THE SUBWAY. I TOLD HER I WAS A HOLOGRAM. SHE PROBABLY BELIEVED IT. PREGNANT WOMEN WILL BELIEVE ALMOST ANYTHING. WHY? BECAUSE THEY HAVE A LIVING BEING IN THEIR BELLY! PERIOD. 

IS IT IDEAL FOR A MOTHER TO CARRY A BABY AROUND ON HER FOR 9 MONTHS AND THEN PUSH IT OUT OF HER MOST SENSITIVE AREA? OF COURSE NOT. HUMAN MOTHERS SHOULD LAY EGGS. SMALL ONES. THEY SHOULD DO THIS SO THEY DON'T HAVE TO CARRY AROUND A BABY. THE EGGS SHOULD BE REALLY SMALL TOO SO THE MOTHER DOESN'T FEEL PAIN. HOW DID I THINK OF THIS? IT WAS PRETTY EASY. I THOUGHT OF IT JUST NOW. GOD HAD ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD, LITERALLY, AND  DIDN'T THINK OF IT. WELL HE DID ACTUALLY BUT WE HUMANS BLEW IT SO HE INSTEAD USED THIS FORM OF REPRODUCTION FOR THE BIRDS. 

AND FISH. AND BUGS. AND DINOS.

GOD'S ORIGINAL BLUEPRINTS FOR THE HUMAN MOTHER,[BY THE WAY, GOD HAD THE CUTEST WRITING BACK THEN] CALLED FOR THE FOLLOWING: 

A WOMAN WITH, [AGAIN THESE ARE HIS WORDS, NOT MINE] "HUGE BOOBS" SHALL GIVE FORTH A SMALL EGG WHICH SHALL PRODUCE MORE OF MY HUMANS THINGS. (2ND SAMUEL 9:9)

GOD ACTUALLY HAD HORRIBLE SPELLING BACK THEN, TOO. AWWWWWWWWW, JUST ANOTHER CUTE FACT ABOUT MY LORD. ANYWAY, HUMANS BECAME FRIENDLY WITH THE DEVIL [BY HUMANS I MEAN ADAM AND EVE AND BY DEVIL I MEAN THE EVIL FORCE THAT GOD PUT IN THE GARDEN OF EDEN] SO THE HUMANS FAILED GOD'S TEST AND SO IN A VERY ANGRY AND ACTUALLY EXTREMELY CUTE VOICE [IT WAS CUTE BECAUSE GOD JUST CAN'T BE ANGRY, ITS IN HIS DEFINITION, SO WHEN HE TRYS TO SOUND ANGRY TO GET HIS POINT ACROSS IT JUST COMES OFF 2-CUTE FER SCHOOL] GOD SAID, "EVE, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LAY EGGS, WELL YOU WILL, BUT I'M GONNA MAKE 'EM DIFFERNT. INSTEAD YOU ARE GOING TO CARRY THE BABY IN YOUR STOMACH FOR LIKE 9 MONTHS OR SUMPTHIN', MAYBE LONGER, MAYBE SHORTER, I HAVEN'T DECIDED. AND ITS GOING TO BE HARD. I'M ALSO GOING TO GIVE YOU A PERIOD. PERIOD."

AND WOW, YOU GUYS. JUST THEN LIGHTNING STRUCK AND THUNDER SOUNDED AND THAT WAS THAT. WOMEN HAD TO LUG AROUND BABIES. SO WHEN ADAM AND EVE'S SONS AND DAUGHTERS HAD SEX WITH EACH OTHER THEY WERE ALL ASKING EVE WHY IT WAS SO HARD. ADAM MADE A JOKE AND NO ONE LAUGHED. NOT EVEN THE LORD.

AND NOW WE SING